individual and couples therapy:
P S Y C H O T H E R A P Y A N D E M D R
Life Is Too Short To Be Stuck In A Painful Relationship, A Miserable Job, Or Alone in Your Apartment
Is low self-esteem keeping you from moving forward? Have negative self-beliefs left you feeling unlovable or unworthy of being in a caring relationship? Do you wonder if something is wrong with you or if you are damaged in some way? Have recent or past difficult events led to depression or anxiety as you struggle to cope with the challenges you are facing?
You may have a history of unsuccessful relationships, and spending time with your partner or a prospective date may leave you feeling anxious and insecure. You may have become dependent on social media and texting, wishing to avoid the discomfort that can come with talking on the phone. Or, perhaps your low self-esteem leads you to compromise yourself and your values in order to build a relationship. Furthermore, you may feel alone or mistreated even when in a committed relationship. Many People Struggle To Create And Sustain Healthy, Loving Relationships
Poor communication and distorted views on how to be in a relationship can create conflict and harmful patterns of behavior. You may feel self-conscious, ambivalent about commitment or send mixed messages that interfere with making a genuine connection with potential partners.
Painful past experiences may have you believing that you are incapable of picking a suitable partner. Do you wish you could work through your relationship issues and meet someone who makes you feel safe and valued?
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WHAT IS EMDR?
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing is a type of therapy that enables people to heal from the symptoms and emotional distress that are the result of disturbing life experiences. Just as the body recovers from physical trauma, with EMDR, the mind can heal from psychological trauma. The process involves the client speaking while undergoing "bi-lateral stimulation." A very simplified explanation: thinking of the brain as a super highway, the trauma is like a traffic jam. The EMDR process moves along the "jammed" information. "Eye movements?" - One form of bi-lateral stimulation requires the therapist moving two fingers back and forth across the patient's field of vision. Other methods producing the same effect are: tappers held by the client, headphones with alternating tones, light boards and therapists tapping directly on patients' knees. In my practice, I use tappers as well as eye movements. For a detailed description of the emdr process, please visit: The EMDR Institute.org. |
It is not surprising that relationships and dating in the 21st century have been severely and negatively impacted by the over-use of social media and dependency on indirect communication. Real intimacy has become increasingly hard to come by, as reliance on text messages doesn’t allow for self-awareness and an understanding of your partner. Many people may believe they are “connecting” with their partners when in fact they are experiencing a shallower, less informed “pseudo-intimacy.”
Why Do People Have Such A Hard Time Being Close?
The quality of your early relationships with primary caregivers speaks volumes about how you might be relating to people in your present life. In childhood, a secure bond allows children to safely explore the world – to make friends, pursue hobbies, and think creatively. Feeling loved and valued, they don’t have to worry about being punished or abandoned for their independence. These individuals usually report having an easier time in long-term relationships. On the other hand, individuals raised in homes with preoccupied, negligent or abusive caregivers are more likely to feel insecure, have low self-esteem, and be anxious with their partners - and always on guard for fear of abandonment.
Relationship challenges can leave you feeling lonely, worthless and desperate to be heard and understood. Of course, this will influence how you approach and behave in relationships. When you are chronically anxious or distressed about your relationships, for whatever reason, there is little mental energy for exploration, creativity and personal growth.
Relationship challenges can leave you feeling lonely, worthless and desperate to be heard and understood. Of course, this will influence how you approach and behave in relationships. When you are chronically anxious or distressed about your relationships, for whatever reason, there is little mental energy for exploration, creativity and personal growth.
Psychotherapy Has Helped Countless Individuals Overcome Their Personal and Relationship Challenges
Psychotherapy can help you recognize and respond to harmful patterns of behavior by addressing the root cause of your current struggles. Does this mean an endless focus on your childhood? No. It does mean identifying what "style" of relating you learned as a child and noticing how this interferes with your happiness now.
People report a wide spectrum of experience when they come into therapy, from mildly distressed to highly traumatized. Some people with a difficult upbringing might have symptoms related to PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder). For this reason, I offer EMDR to most of my clients and integrate this process into our on-going work. In combination with counseling, many problems can be addressed and help you on the road towards long-term, meaningful change in your life.
EMDR Therapy - A Leading Treatment for Trauma Symptoms
When integrated with psychotherapy and relationship counseling, EMDR can be effective in the treatment of early childhood trauma and/or chronic symptoms of ambiguous origin, including:
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EMDR can also help with the aftereffects of recent distressing events, including:
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Our first few sessions will be spent addressing your reasons for seeking personal or relationship counseling, symptoms you are struggling with and your relevant history. I listen carefully to understand your childhood experience, sense of self, inner strengths and connection to others. These factors all influence who you are and how you think, feel and behave in relationships.
We will also explore your expectations and set initial, broad goals, such as to feel better, be less anxious or improve self-esteem. These goals serve as a starting point in your personal growth and you may wish to adapt or expand them as you begin to feel more confident and capable. How you feel about yourself – your negative and positive beliefs – are all of primary importance. How you respond to stress, confrontation and interactions with other people are all moments of your daily experience.
If you have a history of trauma, disturbing memories or pervasive negative self-beliefs, EMDR therapy can help when you feel ready to work through those experiences. It is a fully collaborative endeavor with treatment goals and pace carefully planned to promote resolution and healing.
With the help of an experienced psychotherapist trained in EMDR and psychotherapy, you can learn to understand yourself as well as your wants and needs in a relationship. When you feel comfortable and confident with who you are, you can create and maintain healthy relationships in which you feel valued and loved.
We will also explore your expectations and set initial, broad goals, such as to feel better, be less anxious or improve self-esteem. These goals serve as a starting point in your personal growth and you may wish to adapt or expand them as you begin to feel more confident and capable. How you feel about yourself – your negative and positive beliefs – are all of primary importance. How you respond to stress, confrontation and interactions with other people are all moments of your daily experience.
If you have a history of trauma, disturbing memories or pervasive negative self-beliefs, EMDR therapy can help when you feel ready to work through those experiences. It is a fully collaborative endeavor with treatment goals and pace carefully planned to promote resolution and healing.
With the help of an experienced psychotherapist trained in EMDR and psychotherapy, you can learn to understand yourself as well as your wants and needs in a relationship. When you feel comfortable and confident with who you are, you can create and maintain healthy relationships in which you feel valued and loved.
But, You May Still Have Questions About Psychotherapy
I’m worried something is inherently wrong with me.
Challenges, losses and trauma really can make it feel like something is wrong with you – like no solution can work. However, the truth is if you've had a difficult life, your feelings and behavior are just natural responses to challenging events. There is nothing wrong with you. Utilizing psychotherapy and EMDR can help you understand and move past your struggles.
Will I become dependent on the therapist?
Successful psychotherapy involves trust and commitment, even for short-term personal and relationship counseling. And while longer-term therapy can generate some brief dependency, I consider this healthy. I can serve in the role of a temporary nurturing parental figure or mentor. The ending phase of therapy is about letting go of this dependency. Successful therapy should leave you with a greater confidence and a feeling of being grounded and/or having your own sense of direction.
What if you don’t take me seriously or force solutions on me?
If you are struggling with an issue, then I take that issue seriously. I might suggest goals that you are having trouble articulating, but you will determine the direction your therapy process takes. Or, in some cases, I may recommend you have an evaluation for medication, but I will never force you to do anything.
You Can Feel Valued In Your Relationships
If you are ready to feel more confident so you can build healthy, loving relationships, or if you have additional questions about psychotherapy or EMDR, I invite you to call my office at 917-612-0595 for a free 15-minute consultation.