S E X U A L T R A U M A R E C O V E R Y
for individuals and couples
Are You Having Sexual Problems?
It is not uncommon to have issues with sexual desire, lubrication, intercourse, or orgasm. You might have physical pain during foreplay or intercourse, or erectile problems or difficulty with vaginal penetration. Life stress, including depression, anxiety, lack of experience, illness or injuries - these can all interfere with your sexual functioning and enjoyment.
Do You Wonder If Past Sexual Trauma Is Affecting Your Sex Life?
Do you have panic attacks, flashbacks, go numb or feel like you are leaving your body? Do you feel like you are trapped and powerless? Do you have strong emotional responses around sex that cause you to avoid it altogether? Some people are fully aware of their past history while other people have vague memories. If you have some of these symptoms, it's possible you have a form of PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder).
The Impact Of Childhood Sexual Abuse
Do you recognize yourself as a survivor of childhood sexual abuse or incest? Perhaps you are struggling with physical symptoms as well as feelings of confusion, betrayal and guilt. Do these psychological issues make it difficult to get close to people? Is it difficult for you to trust potential sexual partners?
Adult Sexual Trauma
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Are you the victim of a recent sexual assault?
If you are the victim of a recent sexual assault, you are entitled to free counseling, advocacy and legal support from one of the many programs in NYC. Please contact the New York City Alliance for Sexual Assault at www.svfreenyc.org. This site lists all the programs currently operating in NYC and all are affiliated with NYC hospitals. |
Were you the victim of a sexual assault as an adult? Were you date raped or did you have any sexual contact that felt coerced? Have your physical and/or emotional symptoms prevented you from seeking a partner? Interfere with functioning or enjoyment? Do you find yourself having sexual contact that makes you feel bad about yourself or puts you at risk for harm?
Do I Have To Know For Sure If I've Been Abused?
Absolutely not. The goal of psychotherapy is not to determine whether you have been sexually abused. The goal is to work with the experience you have in your present life, and to understand your symptoms.
I Was Never Sexually Abused Or Assaulted. Why Am I having So Many Problems?
Many people describe their first or early sexual experiences as unpleasant or distressing. The resulting impact on self esteem, body image or sexuality might play a role in your current problems.
Additionally, while not fitting the description of “sexual assault”, there are many experiences that can lead to years of conflict and sexual inhibition. Any contact with a family member or trusted adult that has sexual overtones - even if there was no contact at all - can impair self esteem and lead to inhibition and distress later in adulthood. Medical trauma, difficult labor and birth can also interfere with sexual functioning.
Additionally, while not fitting the description of “sexual assault”, there are many experiences that can lead to years of conflict and sexual inhibition. Any contact with a family member or trusted adult that has sexual overtones - even if there was no contact at all - can impair self esteem and lead to inhibition and distress later in adulthood. Medical trauma, difficult labor and birth can also interfere with sexual functioning.
My Partner And I Used To Have Sex With No Problems. Now It Seems To Rarely Happen.
Many long-term couples who were fine at the start can get into trouble down the road. In most cases, therapy can identify and help with the core relationship problems that are keeping you from being sexually intimate. Talking about sex might actually be put on hold until you both feel happier with the relationship.
Psychotherapy That Validates Your Experience Is The Key To Feeling Better
Each person seeking help for their sexual problems is an individual with their own unique
experiences and challenges. I recognize that you will need to set the pace, that your goals will be flexible and that your own thoughts and feelings guide the process. There is no set agenda or steps to follow.
You do not need to be in a current sexual relationship for therapy to be helpful.
experiences and challenges. I recognize that you will need to set the pace, that your goals will be flexible and that your own thoughts and feelings guide the process. There is no set agenda or steps to follow.
You do not need to be in a current sexual relationship for therapy to be helpful.
What Kind Of Training Do You Have To Offer This Kind Of Therapy?
I am a licensed clinical social worker with a graduate degree in Social Work and certifications in EMDR and Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples. In addition I have completed numerous post-graduate certificate programs in specialized areas including: psychotherapy, family therapy, addictions and eating disorders, rape crisis training, and incest survivor group training. I also teach a workshop for other therapists on working with sexual trauma in couples therapy. Prior to opening my private practice, I was a clinical supervisor at a major hospital-based rape crisis center in Manhattan.
How Does The Therapy Process Begin?
My initial evaluation is designed to differentiate organic/physical causes from psychological causes. Over several sessions, the assessment explores:
- A detailed sexual history including any physical or sexual abuse;
- History of depression, alcohol or drug abuse;
- Review of current sexual relationships - quality of interaction, intimacy, or partner performance;
- Impact of childbirth or adoption;
- Impact of social, cultural, and religious issues in family of origin that influence sexuality;
- Referral for medical evaluation to rule out organic causes (cardiovascular disease, medications, fatigue, hormonal imbalances, among others).
What Happens Next?
I take many different approaches when meeting with clients. During the beginning phase of treatment, traditional talk therapy and psycho-education are used to create a safe alliance and to explore initial goals. Later in the therapy, if we decide to focus on the symptoms of specific traumatic incidents, we will discuss using EMDR. EMDR is a therapy that can help with distressing memories, negative beliefs, panic attacks and general anxiety. Please click here for more information on EMDR.
Sometimes individuals want to bring in their partners at the beginning of therapy or sometime later. Sometimes couples want to have some individual talk or EMDR sessions. I will work with you to consider all the options. When coming in as a couple, both partners must meet with me for separate evaluations.
Sometimes individuals want to bring in their partners at the beginning of therapy or sometime later. Sometimes couples want to have some individual talk or EMDR sessions. I will work with you to consider all the options. When coming in as a couple, both partners must meet with me for separate evaluations.
Common Concerns
What if I don't remember any abuse?
If you individually or you and your partner are having sexual issues, it doesn't matter what trauma, if any, you have experienced. If you do remember incidents, then that information will be very useful in the therapy. The goal is not to prove that something did or did not occur - I will never make any suggestions about what might have happened in your past. Your own impressions and experiences are what is most relevant.
What if I am not comfortable talking about sex?
That's not a problem. There are many ways to explore your issues and problems even without talking explicitly about sex. We will start with whatever feels important and comfortable for you.
Psychotherapy Can Help You And Your Partner.
If you have additional questions about psychotherapy or EMDR, I invite you to call my office at 917-612-0595 for a free 15-minute consultation.